Friday, August 10, 2007

It's Not Me, It's You

God, I didn't want to have to do this but you leave me little choice. I'm just not the sort of girl to sit around and be played*. You were such a good catch too - handsome, witty, great job, sharp suits, part Italian, delightful hair, best mates with Gary Sinise, only moderately emotionally damaged; I wanted it to work out so badly. You even used to show up on time for our dates. Week after week, you never let me down, loyal like a labrador...until now. Where the fuck are you? Don't be giving me all that "series ended" crap; if you loved me, you'd find a way to be back in my bedroom once a week. And no, don't think you can just show up again like last time and expect me to take you back. Actually, thinking about it; it hasn't always been a bed of roses, has it? I always turned a blind eye to those other women and you're unwillingness to process crime scenes in the nude. It's is over. Farewell, TV boyfriend, farewell.


P.S Tell Gary Sinise I send my love.

P.P.S I'm even going to stop calling myself Mrs Detective Danny Messer in the CSI Forums. Seriously. That's how much you've pissed me off.

P.P.P.S I may consider taking you back as long as you a) promise to stop fooling around with that Lindsay whore from Montana and b) take your shirt off every week. MAY.

8 comments:

Prophecy Girl said...

Series ended?! What?!? Did this go off the air. Where have I BEEN?!? Also, I'm sorry...I know your love is true because you did that JW post about him. ;)

Born Worrier said...

What can I say other than you have my sympathy.

just me said...

i sent the same type of letter to ryan gosling.


....he didn't respond.

Anneka's Alias said...

Bad luck but it's better to make the break now. He's the kind of guy that's married to his job. Or the kind of guy who sees so many horrific crimes that it eventually drives him insane and sends him on a killing spree. You got off lightly.

And at least he didn't suffer the same fate as Dr Ray Barnett who had to go home with his Mam at the end of the season. That was just cruel.

OHara said...

Is it time for your smear? Or did couldn't you find an ungloved picture?

OHara said...

Strike the DID in those last two sentences.

having my cake said...

Please tell Gary Sinise I send my love too. I even loved him without legs in Forest Gump!

Muffy St Jacques said...

Lt Dan!!

ohara, he's unfortunately not my gyno.