I like to let the major things in life wash over me, carrying me along on the surface and then turf me out at the next available shore; much like the migratory pattern of the disowned condom, found on Blackpool beach. But the small things, the insignificant annoyances of daily existance make me want to puncture my veins with a biro.
Having to ring the Post Office customer service helpline
I spent twenty minutes being passed from on automated lady to the next and being reminded I could track my mail online. I was so excited when I did finally connect to a human that I shrieked a little bit and they hung up on me.
The DVD of In America being impossible to buy on the high street
In America is one of those films that I SWEAR was always hanging around in places like Woolworths and Morrisons for about £2.99. When I finally decide I wanna watch it no fucker has it. Even the large Virgin store in town didn't have it and they have films like Death Munch 12. I braved scally ASDA as my determination mounted. The woman on the till was busy chatting to her colleague about Ryan on bread who was shagging Dawn from meat and was not pleased when I interupted to ask if they had the film. She immediately snapped "No". Bitch. You're surounded by thousands of DVDs - how do you know?
Having to ring the BT Helpline
As above. Kill me. Please come over from India and kill me. And this was work related. Vishnu help anyone who actually needs your help with their personal phone line.
I don't particularly like him and he always unnerves me when I enter the room and he asks me what I'm there for. But on Monday he broke his drill in my mouth...and then laughed about it.
One of my bosses, correction, line managers, returning from her holiday
This is a long one but just know she is the most aggravating person currently in my life and I didn't even invite her in. Today she spent an hour telling me how unsecure my job is and how I'm probably not viewed as a valuable employee by higher management...not that she thinks that of course but she feels obliged to relay these things to me because she really sees me as a friend.